Excerpt: The Sharp Edge of Mercy by Connie Hertzberg Mayo

About the Book

New York City, 1890: Lillian Dolan is optimistic about her new job at the New York Cancer Hospital after dreaming for years of becoming a nurse. But she struggles to fit in, and her only friend at the hospital is Jupiter, a Black man who runs the crematorium. When the confident Dr. Bauer arrives as the new surgeon and takes a shine to Lillian, she is thrilled to be noticed. Lillian has been warned not to get too close to the patients, but Mrs. Sokolova draws her in, and Lillian wins praise from the nurses for making progress with a difficult patient. But when Mrs. Sokolova’s situation becomes dire, she puts Lillian in an impossible situation-—all while Lillian slowly loses control of her relationship with Dr. Bauer. Her decision to help her patient throws her life into chaos, and Jupiter may be the only person who can help her with an impossible choice: capitulate to Dr. Bauer’s demands or face possible arrest.

The Excerpt

New York, 1890

Lillian jiggled her foot so impatiently that it worked its way out from under her skirts. She stilled her foot to observe it. Even without drawing it closer, she could see the sorry condition of her boot. The crease near the big toe had cracked, and the blacking she had applied last night did little to reverse a year of daily wear. On rainy days, she lined the interior with squares of newspaper to absorb the water that seeped in, but this morning the September sun beat down with a vengeance as if it were summer, which she took as a good omen. She would just have to hope that no one noticed her feet today.

That is, if she could ever leave the apartment. Where was Mrs. Oberman?  Lillian checked the mantel clock again, which showed that it was one minute after she had last checked it. It’s not as if the woman had far to travel – her rooms were on the first floor of this very building. Lillian had seen her occasionally on the stoop in the weeks since they moved here, and when this job opportunity fell in Lillian’s lap, she cornered Mrs. Oberman and asked her to watch Marie this morning. But Lillian realized now she hadn’t really described the nature of the job in any detail. She had planned to outline everything when Mrs. Oberman arrived and couldn’t easily back out, but now it was getting late. Had she forgotten? 

Lillian’s stomach knotted as she imagined how crowded the El would be at this time of day, and how long her trip would be to the 103rd Street Station. She had only ever been as far as 59th Street, just the southernmost part of Central Park, for Marie’s birthday every year. Their mother, Helen, would pack a picnic lunch, and Marie would want to touch all the trees, roll around on the grass, joyful as a pup. Helen often remarked that it was a shame Marie was born a city girl.

But Lillian forced herself to stop thinking of Helen. As far as Lillian was concerned, she and Marie had no mother. 

She rose from her seat and went to check on Marie in the bedroom. No, not the petticoat!  She rushed over to where Marie sat cross-legged on the floor, happily cutting her petticoat into ragged squares with Lillian’s sewing scissors. Lillian grabbed the scissors from Marie, accidentally scraping the pointed blades across Marie’s palm. 

“So you got bored of the buttons, I see.”  When Lillian had left Marie minutes ago, she had been lining up buttons by size, a daily activity that usually occupied her for the better part of an hour. “You know I can’t afford another petticoat for you. So you’ll be wearing that one with these square holes. Just so you know.”  After they had moved to this tenement and it was just the two of them, Lillian started talking more to Marie, even though she knew Marie wouldn’t answer. It was too quiet otherwise. And she could say anything to Marie. After all, Marie could hear perfectly well; she just didn’t speak. Any secret was safe; it was like shouting your troubles down a well.

Lillian looked around for a place to hide the sewing scissors. With her back turned, she didn’t hear Marie creep up behind her, and startled when Marie hugged her around the waist in her clumsy and exuberant way. Prying the arms from around her waist, she turned around and looked at Marie. When they were younger, Lillian had been wildly jealous of her sister’s looks, even cutting Marie’s hair while she slept one night. Lillian had taken the locks, shiny mahogany, and held them to her temple, covering her own mousy strands, pretending she sported this beautiful mane. When Helen found out the next morning, Lillian had extra chores for a week and Marie snubbed her for two, but Lillian hid the hair, tied with a ribbon, and sometimes took it out to stroke it like a cat.

At 14, Marie was now far more beautiful than she had been then, but Lillian felt no envy ever since the scarlatina took Marie’s sight and part of her mind.

A knock at the door pulled Lillian out of her reverie, and she rushed to answer it. Mrs. Oberman shuffled in with a curt nod of her head and lowered herself down in a chair, easing her humped back into a comfortable position. Lillian thought she might have detected a whiff of alcohol but decided it was instead the lingering smell of some fermented food.

“Mrs. Oberman, we had agreed to half past eight this morning.” 

“Ach, at my age, not all the parts of the body want to cooperate so early in the morning. You’re too young to understand.”

Lillian had no time to explain that Mrs. Oberman’s body parts should not be Lillian’s problem. “Marie needs to be watched closely. You must be in the same room with her at all times.”  She put on her coat and checked that her keys were in the deep pockets of her skirts while she talked. “I should be back by midday. Marie likes bread and cheese for lunch, she’s already had breakfast.”  

There were ten other things she should tell Mrs. Oberman but she ran out the door without saying goodbye to either of them. She hoped to get down the stairs before Marie realized she was gone and started crying. She didn’t need that echoing in her ears during her interview.

(c) 2022 Connie Hertzberg Mayo

About the Author

CONNIE HERTZBERG MAYO grew up in Westchester County, New York, but moved to Massachusetts to get a Literature degree from Tufts University and never ended up leaving. Her first book, THE ISLAND OF WORTHY BOYS, (2015, She Writes Press) won the 2016 Gold Medal for Best Regional Fiction in the Independent Publisher Book Awards. Connie’s short story, “Little Breaks”, was published by Calyx Journal in 2017. Her latest novel, THE SHARP EDGE OF MERCY, will be published by Heliotrope Books in May 2022. Connie works as a Systems Analyst and empty-nests with her husband and two feuding cats. Visit her online at conniemayo.com.

Author photo credit: Sivan Lahav