Guest Post: I am My Characters (Pt. 2 of 2), by Davis Aujourd’hui

Part one of this two-part series by author Davis Aujourd’hui posted Monday – click here if you missed it.

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I am My Characters (continued)
by Davis Aujourd’hui

Okay, you might say. How am I like my books’ characters? That’s a good question and it has a relatively simple answer. Just like my characters and like anyone else, I have a light side and a dark side. The dark side is that part of myself that I have possessed from which I have frequently tried to run or to deny. The truth can be scary and who likes to have to work at change? That can be scary too!

For those dark aspects of which I’ve been aware, I’ve often found myself judging them within others or only to find that they usually boomerang on myself. When I’ve done so, I’ve denied the love within me. This is when it’s been so important for me to practice self-forgiveness. It’s also served as an opportunity to learn from my mistakes, make my amends to anyone I’ve harmed, and to do better the next time.

When I have come to a place of acceptance around what’s been my dark side, I’ve found that humor is a wonderful way to let go of judgment. After all, I was created perfectly imperfect just as we all are. I am human and I have created characters that are oftentimes contain exaggerations of human imperfections.

Then again, I have encountered a few prudish and twisted Priscilla Bunheads in my life. I, too, have been capable of being as nasty and judgmental as she invariably is. I’ve also loved to give the impression that I’m perfect. Trust me, I’m no saint! The ironic flip side of perfectionism is shame. As you read more of my Sister Mary Olga books, you’ll begin to understand where Priscilla’s shame comes from.

Certainly I’d prefer to believe that I’m the perfectly holy version of Sister Mary Olga when she teaches her lessons in Advanced Holiness. On the other hand, she is all too human too. She obviously has a problem with alcohol and is addicted to her Marlboros. Well, I once drank alcoholically and I’m currently letting go of an adult lifetime addiction to cigarettes. Letting go of old friends like booze and cigarettes is not an easy thing to do. Yet I don’t want to be a slave to them anymore.

I had my last drunk on April 5, 1988. The very next day, I attended my first AA meeting. There I encountered a host of people who seemed so happy. I desperately wanted to find that happiness for myself. What I had to discover for myself is that there’s nothing or no one outside of myself who can make me happy. Happiness has to come within. In order to find it, I had to dig deep and do a lot of work on myself. It wasn’t easy, but it was worth the effort.

I came to find my way there as I practiced the twelve steps within that program, reaching out for help from others and from God. In time, I was able to help others who wanted the same thing for themselves. It’s said that it’s no good unless you give it away. Jesus also said it’s more blessed to give than to receive. The truth of the matter is that there’s a tremendous amount of joy that comes from giving.

That leads to another spiritual principle that Sister Mary Olga would embrace. Her basic notion is that, if everyone followed the Golden Rule, there would be no need for any other commandments; that, very simply, is to do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

This brings us back to the principle of practicing love within our lives rather than letting the judgmental aspect of our egos rule our lives. None of us is any better or worse than anyone else. The challenge is to relate to each other rather than to focus on our differences. Underneath it all, we are the same – spirit contained within different bodies who possess different personalities.

Part Three

Woe to many of the characters in Bucksnort who are trying to teach you and me continuing lessons about letting go of the ego. Even Sister Mary Olga has her challenges. It often seems that those challenges are what lead her to kiss her bourbon-filled crucifix. God knows, that I used to view challenges as struggles. That’s when I would become stressed and I would turn to my addictions or other inappropriate behaviors to act out the underlying uncomfortable feelings that I didn’t want to experience.

Speaking of addictions, let me tell you about one of the characters with whom I most closely relate. That would be the gay, self-described sex maniac, Randy Cowboy. He’s the physical ideal of who my formerly insecure self wanted to be. Once I let go of my insecurities, I actually realized a semblance of that ideal as I came to a place of acceptance. As is Randy, I am gay. He embraces his sexuality with a fervor. It took me a long time to become comfortable with my sexuality. Yet I don’t let it define me. It’s just another, albeit important, part of who I am.

I, too, share Randy’s challenge of sexual mania. My primary addiction has been to sex. You could also say that it’s been a toxic bond to my shame. I will write another article in which I will go into depth about it. For now I will simply say that it’s been the most painful and challenging addiction from which I have sought recovery. I’m still challenged by it, but I’ve learned how to be more gentle with myself when I have temporarily lost my way. I don’t give up as I once did many years ago.

As for my other characters, I have shared the challenge of prejudice and oppression that Jules Jesslike Pappas has faced. I have been irascible like the ornery Martha Mayhem. I’ve been a bit of a tyrant who has liked to think that I can control others such as Priscilla Bunhead continues to practice with the insecure females of Bucksnort. I can relate to them as well. I’ve tried to mold myself into a figurative bunhead in my past. For so many years, I denied my true sexuality while I tried to pretend that I was something I was not. It was all about pleasing others and wanting to be what they expected of me.

I may not seem to be much like the luscious Lucy Lovely or the forthright Sister Samantha. Even so, they represent individuals from whom I’ve learned by affirming and mirroring the positive aspects of themselves. You may find it hard to believe, but there’s a little bit of the manipulative and demanding Lula Mae Bunsaplenty within me. Yet I’ve managed to let go of so many of those behaviors over the years. Thank God, I can look at them now and laugh! That’s a key to freeing oneself to bondage to the past and it’s also a mark of self-forgiveness.

One by one, I have possessed the dark and light sides of each of my characters to greater and lesser degrees. That just seems to be part of the cycle of balance within life. Fortunately I’ve managed to let go of many of my character defects as I have practiced a more spiritual life. Without having done so, I would be in no position to channel Sister Mary Olga’s Advanced Holiness lessons.

Of course, it’s not just the lesson that’s important. What matters is to practice what one learns or what one preaches. That’s what leads to a sense of wholeness or what Sister Mary Olga would call holiness. It comes from leading a life based upon love and forgiveness. Hopefully we’ll all wake up to that reality one day and lead congruent lives based upon those spiritual principles. If we do so, we will realize peace on earth and good will toward our fellow men and women. Now wouldn’t that be a wonderful miracle!

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Davis Aujourd’hui is the author of the Sister Mary Olga Fortitude series of hilarious satires. The first book is entitled The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude.  It was followed byBabes in Bucksnort.  Davis possesses a rich life experience that has enabled him to draw from it in order to create a colorful canvas upon which to paint very human lives. He is a retired social worker, having worked for Adult Protective Services in New York State for nearly twenty years. He developed the characters within his series of books in order to entertain a colleague by using the gift of humor.  As will be the case with Sister Mary Olga in his third book, he is a recovering alcoholic. He also happens to be gay as are several of the endearing and humorous characters within his novels. He can speak from his own experience. He has possessed all of the foibles of his cast of characters who are naughty, nasty, and nice.  Davis lives in Upstate New York where he is currently sharing his life with his partner of seven years. He is socially-minded and spirituality is the most important ingredient in order for him to maintain a happy and successful life. For more information, visit his blog.