Book Review: Conversations and Cosmopolitans

Happy Book Review Tuesday!  I have another book review conducted for LuxuryReading.com for you today.  My review copy of Conversations and Cosmopolitans
was provided courtesy of LuxuryReading, and the original, condensed, review, which was posted December 5, is available here.

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Conversations and Cosmopolitans

Conversations and Cosmopolitans.  What a fabulous title – after all, who among us doesn’t enjoy conversations and cosmopolitans, especially together?  The book is subtitled: “Awkward moments, mixed drinks, and how a mother and son finally shared who they really are” – and believe me, it’s an apt description.

The book alternates between chapters written by the subtitle-eponymous son, Robert Rave (aka Berto to his mother) and answering (or perhaps explanatory) remarks by his subtitle-eponymous mother, Jane Rave.  Berto’s chapters have pithy clever titles that sum up the angst of a newly out-and-proud gay man who left the quiet Midwestern life of his childhood to find himself a brand-spanking new adult life in New York City.  Jane’s responses are all titled “Mama Says” – and are a combination of her take on her son’s new life and of bits of homespun wisdom gleaned as she and her husband strove to support their son in said new life(style).

The book is touching at times, funny at times, and a tish banal at times.  Life is like that.  I get it.  It might be authentic, but it doesn’t always make for the most interesting reading.

I have empathy for Robert’s story.  I have heard many a gay friend’s coming-out story, and they are always tear-jerkers – whether in good ways or bad (because sometimes people surprise you nicely, although not often enough by half).  Unfortunately, we still live in a world where fear and loathing are all too often components of the decision to come out.  In my mind, no one should ever have to apologize for who they are; your choices are under your control, and those are what you should be held accountable for.  Unfortunately, much of the world does not agree with me.

Jane’s stories of her interactions with neighbors and fellow Midwesterners are, all too often, shocking to someone with my sensibilities.  Her tales of defending her son and his life made me angry, sad, and regretful in turn.  At times, her wit and clever retorts made me laugh out loud or even cheer for her.  But at others, her homespunnishness felt like I was reading the text of a public service announcement.  Again, I’m not complaining about the messages, but about the delivery.  I’m fine with the former – the latter didn’t always make for the most compelling story-telling style though.

The book is a soft-sell on accepting a child regardless of whether his life goes in the direction his parent’s imagined or would have chosen.  That is a positive message and one I would never disrespect.  The book displays occasional flashes of brilliance, usually through Robert’s stories of life as a regular guy in the oft-glamorous (or at least glam-wannabe) world of the NYC gay community (NB: is there really “a” gay community, in NYC or anywhere?  Isn’t the assumption that there is “one” gay community in NYC – or anywhere – a stereotype in itself?  No one talks about “the” straight community…  but I digress), but also occasionally through Jane’s startlingly unselfconscious examinations of her own life and her interactions with her son and his friends.  These bursts don’t happen anywhere near often enough to my taste, but when they do they are great fun.

Overall the book reads more like a self-help guide for the unsuspecting families of gay children than a memoir.  That’s not my cup of tea (or martini glass of cosmo) but that doesn’t mean it’s not still a valid beverage choice.  Or maybe I should say valid beverage genetic predisposition.  😉